Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

Dear Reader, 

Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is a collection of anecdotes and stories that are ultimately used to paint a picture of what it is like to die of “old age” in the United States. Gawande talks about his own experiences watching his father endure cancer and go through various types of treatment, including hospice care. He also talks about his mother in law experiencing old age in a nursing home and finally passing away due to complications stemming from natural body decay. The book addresses multiple aspects of aging: the fact that even growing old has only occurred in the past hundred years as a result of advanced medical screening and treatments, nuclear families versus multigenerational homes, hospice care, and what the best nursing homes look like. 

Gawande uses a combination of statistics and personal, intimate storytelling in order to convey his arguments and explain the various aspects of aging. His style is similar to Melinda Gates’ The Moment of Lift and is also a very informative, easy way to learn about minorities that are often overlooked and forgotten. My initial feelings while reading this book were that of fear and denial about aging. They were followed by the shock of how little the medical profession emphasizes understanding death and being mortal, especially given the fact that the process of aging affects most of us at some point in our lives. I started to think about how doctors so often have to give a type of death sentence to a patient, explaining a grave cancer diagnosis or telling them about an incurable condition. However, the focus is not on the mental health ramifications or the process of coming to terms with the condition or diagnosis, it is simply on conveying just the facts. 

Although these diagnoses are so common with elderly patients, it is extremely uncommon for doctors to sit down and listen to the true concerns of the patient. Instead, the focus becomes extending the length of life, rather than thinking about the quality of life. Or the focus becomes what is easiest for the family, which often results in sending a grandparent or parent to a nursing home where their independence is stripped and their needs are not met. 

These problems the elderly face are rarely discussed in academia or social circles, especially among people in their teens and twenties, unlike other minority issues. Gawande, maybe unintentionally, shows us the deep-rooted ageism that exists across the United States, within our own families, and even within ourselves. This book shows us that conversations about aging and death are necessary for humans to uphold a high quality of life even after retirement and into old age, and for humans to work toward being more empathetic and compassionate. 

Happy reading!